Etiquttes for Husbands_Part 1
Submitted by Mohammed Gilani on
Allaah Ta'ala says, “For them (women) are rights similar to those
on them according to the beautiful standard.” Man is informed
that as there are rights due to him, his wife also has rights due
unto her.
Rasulullaah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “The best among you are those who
are best towards their wives.” (Tirmidhi).
1.) When entering the home, always make salaam cheerfully, no
matter how difficult your day may have been.
2.) Similarly, when leaving home in the morning, make a point of
kissing your wife and don’t leave without salaam. Salaam is a
means of engendering great love and happiness in the home.
3.) Implement the beautiful Sunnah of smiling. Smile more and
don’t frown. Express this virtuous act of smiling to your wife
often, and not only outside to strangers. Smiling is an act of
charity. Try and create such a loving presence at home that your
family members look forward to seeing you, rather than dreading
your coming home.
4.) Support and spend generously on your family, according to
your means. Regard this as an Islamic responsibility, not as a
favour upon them, nor as a burden on you.
5.) Spending on bare necessities is not sufficient to engender true
love and a happy home. However, be moderate in your
expenditure - there should be neither wastage nor miserliness.
6.) Shower your wife with gifts (within means). Never remind her
of favours you confer on her.
7.) Provide her with her own monthly allowance (according to
means) over and above your household budget expenses. This
money will then belong to her, thus allowing her freedom of
choice to purchase items for her personal needs, without having
to account how it was spent.
8.) Compliment your wife’s cooking after meals. Overlook the
little shortcomings, e.g. if the salt is less or if the food is not
prepared on time, for some reason beyond her control.
9.) Endeavour to eat and drink from the same utensil. Sometimes
place a morsel of food in each other’s mouth (not only to be
practised when newlywed), this will increase mutual love. One
will be rewarded for this.
10.) Do not disclose your wife’s secrets or faults to either family
members or friends. Always conceal one another’s faults. It is
worse to speak about one’s physical relationship.
11.) Express your love often and make her feel wanted. According
to Rasulullaah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam), the mercy of Allaah Ta'ala pours on a
couple when the husband glances at his wife with love and
pleasure and she reciprocates by glancing at him with love and
pleasure.
12.) Laugh and joke with her within Shar’i limits. Rasulullaah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) used to engage in light-hearted conversation with his
wives.
13.) Compliment your wife on her dressing. If you do not approve
of any aspect of her dressing, then instead of rebuking her, rather
explain to her in a gentle and loving manner your likes and
dislikes. Just as you would like to see her smartly dressed, you too
should dress smartly for her (all within the confines of the
shari’ah).
14.) If possible, give her a call during the day to see how she is
feeling. (to be continued..)